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U Know U Are Asian When
* Your house smells like fried onions. 
* When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent. 
* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. 
* You make tea in a saucepan. 
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it. 
* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. 
* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home. 
* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years. 
* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle". 
* You hide everything from your parents. 
* Your mother does everything for you if you are male. 
* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. 
* Your relatives alone could populate a small city. 
* Everyone is a family friend. 
* Everyone always called you for help on homework. 
* You study law, medicine or engineering at university. 
* You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead. 
* You know no one who has studied music. 
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible. 
* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished. 
* Your best friend got married at the age of 18. 
* You only make telephone calls after 6pm. 
* You like the meat well done. 
* You eat onions with everything. 
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup. 
* You fight over who pays the dinner bill. 
* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents. 
* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language. 
* You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you. 
* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius. 
* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on". 
* You secure your baggage with a rope. 
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up. 
* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight. 
* You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. 
* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school. 
* Your Dad drives a Nissan. 
* You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.
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