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Sardar Ji
1- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

2- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

3- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

4- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

5- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

6- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

7- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

8- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

9- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

10- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

11- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

12- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

13- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

14- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

15- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

16- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. 

17- What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his head.

18- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

19- What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.

20- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.

21- Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

22- How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.

23- Why can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone

24- How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.

25- "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

26- What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.
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